Pillow Talk: Discussing Sex Dreams

I’m fully aware how weird my sex dreams are. I know how they make me sound – like I’m into some really freaky stuff and that I will inevitably end up in a sex dungeon as part of a cult. I’d like to defend myself though – dreams in general are weird, even the clichés of teeth falling out and turning up to school naked are strange. But they all have deeper, subconscious meanings. They reveal anxieties and insecurities, when you can no longer repress your feelings and your head is free to run wild. Which is why, although I commend my REM state on its incredibly imaginative representations, it’s best to remember that sex dreams are just metaphors for what’s really going on. Here’s some of my more intriguing sex dreams with an attempt to provide an interpretation that reveals truths surrounding my sexuality and relationships. Anyway, let me get on with it and tell you about when an alien made me cum multiple times.

Out of this World

Everything starts off pretty conventional – I am making out with a guy and things get heated so he starts to strip. I’m aware that he’s some sort of tourist visiting my home town, and that his visit coincides with an amicable diplomacy venture carried out between the human race and an extra-terrestrial species. Once the guy takes off his top, he starts to look coy and confesses that he is one of the aliens visiting Earth. I’m pretty chill about the whole situation – his outer appearance looks human and we’ll use protection so I don’t need to worry about being impregnated by a species from a far-away galaxy. We continue stripping off and he proceeds to go down on me, when he reveals that he has a long, snake-like tongue that is definitely not human. At first I’m a little taken aback, but then I figure that a tongue is a tongue and he continues to go down on me. I then proceed to have the most mind-blowing oral sex ever – truly out of this world (pun intended).

Now, I’m not going to force any lover of mine to dress like E.T. so that I can get my kicks. Instead, I see this as a metaphor for my sexual anxieties. I’m afraid that no man is going to be able to satisfy me sexually to an “out of this world” extent. What if my ideal sexual partner is completely alien and therefore unattainable to me? My fears of finding a partner who will consistently please me are genuine, but the worry decided to manifest itself as a hot alien with a rather adventurous tongue.


Another sci-fi inspired one. The zombie apocalypse has arrived, but everything is pretty low-key. All the zombies are still highly-functional and aware of their situation, they just have a virus that will make them hungry for very small amounts of human flesh. The infection will be completely eradicated from the country in about a month once the cure is administered into the water supply. It’s not a huge issue if you’re infected, but no one wants to accidentally bite a friend and be more of a strain on the NHS (#FundOurNHS). Also, the virus gives off an aroma so that everyone is super horny. I am currently not infected, although a guy who I’ve been interested in sexually and romantically is. We bump into each other and the sexual tension is rife. He concedes that we should have sex as the infection problem is not much of an issue. I have a whole other problem though.

“What if you bite off my clit? I don’t mind getting infected but what if you eat me out and you literally eat my clit? I can’t fix that,” I say to my zombie lover.

“I won’t. I promise. I need you now, but I won’t hurt you. You need to trust me”, he replies. He proceeds to perform oral sex and I never find out if a zombie does actually bite off my clitoris.

This isn’t a dream communicating my secret fetish of necrophilia. It’s actually just my anxieties of trusting a sexual partner and being emotionally vulnerable to them. Believing that someone won’t hurt you is high-risk but is needed if you want to achieve intimacy and learn how to trust someone.

Ultimately, sex dreams are weird. People have varying amounts of them and they can reveal so much. They can be directly in relation to what turns you on; be allegories for more mental/emotional thought patterns; or just random figurations of the imagination. Just be sure to entertain your sex dreams and give praise for the weird shit your head comes up with.

-Dickmund Freud

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